Spit

I want the food at our wedding reception to tap into the charms of the West Country. When you combine the American love of beef with the fact that Somerset has more cows than any other county in England, the beef vibe seems like a no brainer. But I don't think it's very weddingy.

So that leaves us with one word, shirelings: pig.

I love the simple wildness of a pole shoved up the ass and out of the mouth of a wild animal. So I went ahead and booked a hog roast. Can you believe they give you the option of having the head or not having the head. I chose having the head. Obviously.

So that's the big three done: church, venue, catering. This means I can move onto something a bit more fun: what to wear. I'm a skinny man. Ergo: I look a bit of a twat in a wedding suit with tales.

Not so funny story: on the morning of my twin brother's wedding I discover that my suit is already a bit too big for me. Then the two-sizes bigger than me groom says that he'd like to swap suits so he can look more defined. It's his wedding, obviously, so I take one for the team and end up looking like Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia. 

All this to say that I'm exploring suit options. I like the idea of a bow tie. Below is an option from Topman. No rush, plenty of time to decide.